I stumbled into the area of leadership. I wasn’t looking for it. During my divorce, I found myself spending a lot of time at the library, inspired by two psychologists who were helping me navigate that season of life. They are amazing humans, and their support made me curious. Could I get to that level?

I focused on books about relationships but one weekend, a copy of a John Maxwell leadership book caught my eye. Not sure it was supposed to be in the relationship section, but something pulled me to pick it up. I added it to my stack without thinking much of it.

A few years later, I realized that I had already been learning leadership in real time. Divorce can bring out the worst in people if you let it. You’re dividing everything up, dealing with family and friend drama, watching people choose sides, and helping your kids cope while trying to stay grounded yourself. 

I credit the two psychologists who guided me through it all and still do. They are a huge part of why I’m still standing today. During my sessions, they didn’t just listen. They challenged me to think carefully about how I responded to the situations unfolding around me. One of them repeated a phrase that became a lifeline: “Divorce doesn’t hurt kids; it’s how you act.” That reminder helped me stay centered and above the noise.

That curiosity sparked my journey into learning...first about relationships, then about leadership. Whether in the car, at work, or working out, I immersed myself in interviews, podcasts, and books, eager to grow.

Only in hindsight did I see that I was learning leadership without even knowing it, learning to lead myself first before anything else. A lesson that reminds that how we show up matters, especially when life gets messy.